


Shattered memories, shattered mind

by Thepresidentofrussia23



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Amnesia, Bisexual Male Character, Car Accidents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Head Injury, M/M, New Orleans, Pain, Polyamorous Character, Psychological Trauma, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-09-01 03:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 9,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20251249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thepresidentofrussia23/pseuds/Thepresidentofrussia23
Summary: What if Johnny lost his memories in a traumatic experience? What if it caused him to choose a new idenity and start over as a new person? This may involve some hints of past non-con that will be forcefully brought to the surface. Consider this note as your warning





	1. Chapter 1

Sirens. Screams. Flashing lights. Red on blue. Blue on red. The rain thudded softly as it coalesced into tear drops of water on the smashed and crumpled crimson, black and yellow hood of a Mustang. The driver lay with his head slumped onto the wheel, his forehead and the side of his head had massive gashes and cuts, the windshield was a spiderweb of cracks, reflecting light in a eerie manner. 

Medics dashed over to the man's side as they cut the seatbelts out and they braced his neck and checked his pulse, one medic noted 

"Contusions to the sphenoid and possible fractures to the paretial as well as the temporal side of his skull...this one is going to be a critical case." 

"His HR is 124. His BP is 176 over 80. His blood pressure is skyrocketing. Hurry! We don't have much time!"

They strapped a mask to the man's face and his ID tumbled out onto the wet asphalt and when the firefighter picked it up, he saw the bold black letters that read

"Johnny Avery Lawrence"

He handed the license to the police officer as the investigators took photos and gathered evidence as clean up crew came by and waited for their turn to clean the scene and bring the road back to normal. 

Sirens wailed and pierced the quiet of the night as the medics inside hooked Johnny Lawrence up to bypass and life support becuase his kidneys and his lungs were beginning to shut down and that was not helping the fact that he had been through a great deal of physical trauma as it was. They taped his eyes closed when they realized at that moment that Johnny had slipped into a coma and the doctors swarmed the docking bay where the ambulance stopped at the emergency entry and nurses helped grab the stretcher and move the dying, comatose man into the first intake room as doctors shouted our commands and nurses grabbed medications to sedate Johnny and a doctor shouted 

"Get an OR room ready! Johnny needs emergency surgery! Who is his medical proxy? We need one now!"

The dean of medicine ordered one of the nurses to bring over medical records of Johnny Lawrence and he said 

"Call Carmen Diaz."


	2. Bits and Pieces

Carmen sat on her bed, screaming and crying, her son holding her tightly and Rosa praying for Johnny, they all were in shock and terror that Johnny would not survive his injuries from the crash. Tears rolled down her face...all she could remember were the words that the doctor told her

"Carmen. We have to tell you as you are the medical proxy of Johnny Lawrence that he was involved in a three car accident and he is in need of multiple emergency surgeries. You need to approve of them."

"Just...do...do whatever it takes to save him! Just save him!"

She broke down again as the doctor described the injuries. She knew they were only holding back the worst of the information from her...she knew his survival chances were limited. She knew that the next 24 hours were critical for survival in especially injuries that involved head injuries. 

Miguel begged her 

"I need to see sensei Lawrence. I need to visit him. Please mom."

"I...I can't! You might not even be able to handle the state he's in! He's still in surgery!"

"I want to be there for him...please mom...you know how much he means to me. I know that if I were in a accident, he would do whatever it took to visit me."

"All right my Mijo...but be prepared...he will not be recognizeable...his injuries are severe especially around his head."

Miguel, Rosa and Carmen arrived at General Trauma hospital...the exact same hospital where Robby Keene was born at, and now...his father was fighting for his life. 

Miguel waited as the receptionist refused Carmen but when she flashed her work badge, the receptionist told her

"Room 198 on floor nine. His condition is stable but still critical."

Carmen solemnly nodded as she went to change into her scrubs and she led her and her mother to his room. The drunk driver that slammed into Johnny had woken up finally and Carmen was pissed off to see that man's face as he slurred 

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? How can you be sorry when a man is unconscious, he is the love of my life! He is probably going to die becuase of you! H is a good man! He taught my son karate and now...I'll have to think of burying him too!" 

She felt anger...hurt...resentment...it was clearly there. Her heart broke when she saw her son weep and cry at the sight of Johnny lying so vulnerable, helpless...like a baby. Tubes and needles and wires crisscrossed all over Johnny as he remained in his coma, the beeping of the machines was their only assurance that he was alive, his skin was pale and white and there were so many bandages on Johnny's head and arms, there was a neck brace becuase of several fractures on the dorsal region of his vertebrae. All Carmen could do was hold her son as he cried and his tears wet her scrubs. Even Rosa covered her mouth in a moment of shock...she couldn't belive that Johnny was even still alive with those injuries, all she wanted was him to be ok. All the Diaz family could do was pray and pray that Johnny would wake up.


	3. First, Do No Harm

Johnny still lay in a coma, but his intracranial pressure from the brain bleed was worsening and the doctors were getting worried, they were concerned that there was going to be too much pressure in Johnny's head eventually, they weren't sure where the pressure was or where the bleed was so Dr. Olsten, a neurologist ordered a CT scan, a a PET scan and a X-Ray so that they could determine the origin of the brain bleed and determine where to work from there. The lab techs worked carefully to ensure Johnny's comfort and safety as they draped sheets over the legs and chest and arms of Johnny with lead shielding and they positioned the X Ray scanner and took four X Rays, the four that were recommended.

The nurses carefully lifted the prone body of Johnny and they put him back on the stretcher as he slept on, completely unaware of what was being done to save his life. Johnny was still there...he just was fading out and becoming less responsive. The CAT scan whirred and hummed as Johnny's body was lifted into the tube itself and they could see his mind and his blood vessels were and where the bleed was coming from, the technicians then took the results and sent them to the radiologist again like they did with the X Rays and the nurses lifted Johnny into the stretcher, his legs, arms and head drooping like a dying wildflower as they carefully placed him onto the bed and they put him on the flat board of the PET scan and it took Johnny into the tiny tube and shot Gamma Rays into his brain as the machine clicked and whirred loudly and soon that too was finished and the nurses repeated the process as the surgeons scrubbed in, washing and soaping their hands and arms extra carefully, they used extreme measures to make sure that contamination would not happen. 

The surgical techs draped blue sheets over the comatose body and they shaved the part of the head that they needed to operate into and started cutting, slicing, sawing, and they used a shunt to fix the brain bleed as well as a drain to remove the excess blood, they also removed a bit of his skull to relive pressure in his head since there was no more room in his head for his brain to keep swelling further. They eventually sowed up Johnny after their work was done and carefully cleaned him up and sanitized him and injected some anti-virals and anti-biotics and the nurses took him back to a Post-Operative room where he was still comatose. 

Daniel LaRusso first found out about the accident on the news and shrugged about it becuase he had seen plenty of accidents, but what stopped him cold in his tracks was that his nemesis, his friend, his rival. He didn't even know what to label Johnny anymore, he stared as the words from the screen floated on as the reporter at the scene pointed at Johnny's car and the tree and the dented hood. The car looked like it had been mangled into pieces, his breath was caught in his throat as the mug slipped through his fingers and shattered as he ran for his car and drove to General Trauma Hospital, hoping to see Johnny, to berate that man for being so reckless...and to make sure he was alive as well.

When Daniel saw the receptionist, she was cheerful but sterile, like everything else here and he all but ran to Johnny's hospital room, with the surgeon's warning, not just the doctor's or the nurse's warning to keep quiet or he would be thrown out. He couldn't speak when he saw the vulnerability of Johnny, even if he wanted to, he felt like tearing up, this was horrific beyond his wildest imaginations, he had a bone to pick with Johnny but he never would wish this sort of pain on anybody at all. His voice was silent and squeaky as he worked the nerve to step into the room and he pulled up a chair and sat next to Johnny as tears streamed down his face and held Johnny's limp hand in his own. He remembered when this dying, sleeping man had made his life miserable, made it hell and yet...it gave Daniel a thrill to think about those days, there was a sort of magical nostalgia behind them, a sort of unspoken reminder that Daniel couldn't let go of and yet, it was slipping away from him like sand slipping through the hourglass.


	4. Burning Hell

After the surgery was conducted, it was in the morning that Johnny began to develop complications and he was running a fever of up to 105 degrees farenheit and he was shivering violently in his sleep, clearly something had infected him and now his body was trying to fight it off, perhaps it was the dirty accident scene that had toxins including gasoline dripping down into Johnny's wounds as well as dirt and glass, it was a toxic combination and Dr. Bilritz was the physician that noticed the sudden rise in the temperature and he ordered the nurses to put Johnny in a ice bath to break his fever. They had to do whatever it took to avoid the 107 degree Farenheit mark at all costs.

The prone man lay in the stretcher as the nurses filled the metal tub with ice cold water and dumped in ice cubes and they soon lifted the sleeping man, careful to avoid tangling the breathing tubes as well as the electrode wires and the heart monitor wires and they carefully lowered the man into the tub so that only his head was above water and they soaked towels with cold water and placed it on his head to try and break his fever from there as well. Meanwhile Johnny was dreaming that he was back in the All-Valley Tournament and he was standing all alone as Daniel stood and glared at him and Johnny began

"Wait..what are you doing? I lost the tournament 38 years ago! I'm not supposed to be here!"

"Or you're here becuase there is something on the line, you don't know what is it but it's important to know that if you don't figure it out, well...you will never wake up."

"You're not real. None of this is real."

"Of course not! I'm a gulit induced hallucination brought on by a infection which triggered a 105 degree fever. I could go on to say that you are in a coma so...that's that. Oh and by the way?"

"Yeah?"

"Listen to me carefully, listen to my instructions and follow them to the letter, whatever you do, do as I say."

"All right then."

"WAKE UP!"

And Daniel shoved Johnny backwards and he fell into a puddle that grew deeper and deeper and he could feel a veil finally being lifted off of his body, the coy mistress of conciousness, the tendrils of the six senses slowly streamed back into him, ever so slowly as his eyes fluttered and he could hear someone shouting

"He's awake! His fever has broken as well. Oh thank God he is alive."

But the problem was...this patient could not even remember his name...the man screamed as sudden realization came to him that he was in a ice bath...he remembered his step dad making him take ice baths as a form of punishment and he screamed

"Ahhhhhh! I'm sorry sir! Please! I...I can't be here! It's it's so cold!"

The nurse replied 

"Johnny, we need you to stay in the ice bath! The fever just broke."

The blonde and blue eyed man replied 

"Who the fuck is Johnny? I'm...I'm..." He looked around and gasped and yelled

"WHO AM I? WHERE AM I? OH...GOD! NO! GET ME OUTTT!"


	5. The Death of a million memories

The man lay in a hospital bed, abjectly confused and terrified as neurologists poked and prodded him, they eventually determined that despite having no memories of his past, he had the skills of a functional adult of his age and he could be discharged. Someone asked him 

"What's your name"

The blue eyed man replied

"Gustave LeRoy."

"All right Gustave. You have dissociative amnesia as well as retrograde amnesia. You need to take care of your head. You will be discharged."

"All right then. I want to go home."

"Where do you live?"

Gustave looked around and saw a magazine with the bold letters

"TRAVEL TO NEW ORLEANS! THE CITY OF MAGIC AWAITS YOU!"

"I live in New Orleans, Louisiana."

"All right then Mr. LeRoy. We need you to sign the paperwork and you are good to go."

LeRoy signed the papers and yawned as he received his things and he grabbed his wallet and held the headband in confusion before stuffing it in his pocket. He suddenly had a massive headache then where a beautiful blonde woman tied the same band round his head and then they kissed and hugged. LeRoy shook his head and paid for the city bus to the greyhound bus station. The counter lady asked

"Where to?"

"New Orleans."

"Round trip or one way."

LeRoy forgot what the two words meant, he was sure they were about the trip itself. Obiously he wasn't planning to come back so he replied  
"One way sounds nice"

"All right then. Your ticket is 260 dollars."

"Ok here you go."

And Gustave paid for the ticket and he boarded the big greyhound bus and went to sleep. In his dream he saw a red haired woman with green eyes and brown framed glasses and a black headband. He was utterly confused; who was she and why was she here in the first place?

He asked

"Who are you?"

The woman smiled an enigmatic smile and replied

"You know who I am. I am you."

"I'm a Male. First things first and also, I wouldn't be wearing that lame ass attorney's uniform. The haircut sucks too."

"Oh I'm you."

"How do you know? For all I know, I'm just hallucinating."

"Stop arguing with a hallucination then! You're driving yourself crazy! And by the way, you're depressed and alone, you love Daniel LaRusso and you are bisexual but you are scared of coming out and you are afraid of the judgement. The idea of being vulnerable, it scares you doesn't it?"

"No! Of...of course not!"

"You're lying to me. And I am you. And that means you're lying to yourself. Why would you lie to yourself?"

"Maybe becuase...opening up means risking betrayal. And I have no idea why I said that."

"You will eventually figure out. For now. Wake up."

Gustave woke up with a pounding headache, he was now in Denver, Colorado and the snowy peaks of the Rockies greeted him. He was here finally in Colorado, all alone.


	6. Conversion Disorder

Gustave arrived in New Orleans and he could see colors and buldings as far as the eyes could see and he could hear jazz music floating out of corners from trumpets and saxophones and he danced along to the music as the people sang and danced and drank. It was Madri Gras night at the French Quarter and there was a massive parade going on along the route. Floats and bands and people streamed down the street. Gustave smiled as the fireworks boomed and sparkled above him. Suddenly he could feel a headache coming on...it was a nasty headache as he could hear and see a vision of a young blond boy fighting another teenage brown haired boy over a radio. He couldn't remember why he was fighting over that object or how did the fight start at all. It was all so mystifying to Gustave. He shook his head and he was handed a gold and glitzy mask and a necklace of plastic beads and Gustave was shoved and pushed and jostled in the massive crowds as the people danced, sang and drank to celebrate the beginning of Lent.

People were wearing flamboyant costumes and wore colorful feathers and posed for photographs as well as did poses and imitated famous performers and Gustave groaned softly as he stumbled through the crowds. The drinks were getting to him and his head was hurting badly. He couldn't understand for the life of him why his head was hurting. A billboard of Daniel LaRusso hung outside the window of the apartment that Gustave was sleeping at and he stared into the eyes of the man and shrugged his shoulders after a moment of intense gazing into the photo and he flopped onto the bed and fell asleep as the clock struck midnight and the party ended. The same red head woman with her intense green eyes gazed into Gustave's eyes and then said

"You know me. I am you. What's my name?"

"Gustave?"

"Wrong move."

"Then how do I know what is your name then?"

"What's the color of my eyes?"

"I...I don't know how does the color of your irises have to do with my idenity at all, no offense. Thanks for helping though."

"The problem is that the answer is locked inside you, you just don't know how to access it. Maybe a man was worried...maybe he had feelings for a smart woman, a kind woman, a hard working woman, maybe he wanted to see her, maybe he saw himself in her...maybe...he felt...electricity" 

She whispered the last word in his ear, lingering in Gustave's lap, her fingers gently grazing his cheek and she reminded him

"I'm dying. I need help."

And she placed her hand on the back of her head and suddenly blood leaked out of the gaping wound of her head, staining her red suit and Gustave woke up, sweating and gasping at another nightmare as he shook it off.


	7. How Can I Remember?

Gustave woke up, his head hurting and his throat sore and dry. His body was shivering violently and he was coughing and he was dizzy from a infection triggered by the environment around him. The relocation to New Orleans was not helping his immunocompromised body. 

He grabbed the sheets and tossed them aside as he tried working at the docks and learning Creole French and fixing docks and cleaning patios filled with sand. Gustave had another flashback to when he was climbing a ladder to clean a gutter when someone laughed at him after spraying him with a water gun. He shook his head and got back to doing his job and he helped remove the crabs from the traps and cages and separated them from the other sea life that would be thrown back into the ocean since the traps caught everything that lay in its path. Gustave grunted in pain and shuddered slightly as the cold winds started drafting towards the docks and he coughed, his sore throat getting worse by the minute as he grew fuzzier around his vision and he clocked out and drove home in a haze, dizzy and tired from standing in the harsh sun for hours. Clearly he needed sun screen for a good reason here.


	8. How can I forget?

Carmen Diaz's blood was boiling, how dare they discharge a man who had suffered a traumatic brain injury and a skull fracture on top of a post OP infection? How stupid were the doctors? She fumed angrily as she sobbed again, the severity of the situation sinking in on her, Johnny was a man who had no memories of his past, Johnny probably was going to wander and drift around from shelter to shelter, she had seen many amnesiac patients throughout her career and they needed care depending on the level of damage to their brain and Johnny was clearly not ready to be discharged. She shook in anger when she found out that Johnny had been discharged by a nurse who was not qualified to approve of discharges. She glared angrily at the nurse who meekly looked down.

The hospital administrator was furious to say the least when he heard of the situation, he realized the gravity of the situation and how it was affecting the image of the hospital and the reputation of the institution had been stained with a horrible mistake. He roared

"Do you realize what this day has been spent doing? I have been busy apologizing to the public. I have been busy to Apologizing to his relatives, I have been busy apologizing most of all to his son and his medical proxy and his friend who are planning on suing General Trauma! Do you realize how bad this looks for all of us? Most of all me? My God! We will be most definitely be subject to a internal affairs investigation and review very soon by the feds no doubt as to how the fuck we bungled up a discharge due to MISTAKE IDENITIY OF ALL THINGS! Even the FBI might investigate us! And what's worse is that we will be forced to pay...no doubt I will lose donors. Nobody will donate to a institution that fucks up big like this that's for sure!"

Daniel LaRusso and Carmen were speaking to their attorneys to sue the hospital on grounds of medical malpractice charges and maltreatment and recklessness endangerment against a vulnerable person. It was a messy morning that included filing paperwork and a missing person's report and speaking to the police. It was all a blur to both Miguel and Carmen, she couldn't belive they could mess up like this. What if Johnny was struggling through another post OP infection? What if he was already lured, kidnapped and murdered? This world was a harsh and awful world and Miguel knew about it too, even Robby was now scared for his father, he was worried his father was hungry, thirsty...lost and scared...he couldn't imagine what his dad was going through to survive. Daniel LaRusso was wringing his hands and they were trembling as usual, a stress reflex he had developed as a result of extreme stress and anxiety and right now, the fact that Johnny had been discharged and vanished without a trace, not even with his phone, that was discombobulating, however Johnny was a man known to be off the grid and that was not always a good thing when there were serial killers and rapists running around the country. New Orleans had a extremely high homicide and shooting rate and that was something that did not comfort Daniel at all. Daniel could only hope and pray that Johnny was safe and ok.


	9. I am the true maniac

Gustave rolled over in his sleep as he dreamt of the same red head woman with green eyes and brown eye glasses and black headband. She smiled enigmatically at him, she asked him 

"You know me, I am you after all. And you know yourself the best."

"And what if I don't?"

"Then who knows you? Do you even remember anybody that knows the true you?"

"No. Not exactly. I...I just can't... I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me. I can't seem to be able to grasp at straws."

"So now you doubt yourself? So much for the great confidence that you boasted of as a young man. You know yourself, you just can't unlock it. It is locked deep within your brain, you have to find the key and save me. Save me before I die."

"You're? You're dying? Look, you look healthy as a horse."

"Wrong. Try again."

She tucked her red hair behind her ear and it revealed a swollen scar, it was pouring pus and it was red and there was an abscess growing...growing. Gustave could feel another migraine take over him and he bent to his knees, groaning in pain and suffering as the pain thrummed through his entire skull. Suddenly the beautiful woman collapsed onto the ground, choking on her blood and seizing and twitching rapidly and Gustave woke up, sweaty and gasping for air, his head was spinning and slightly warm, he grabbed some aspirin and dry-swallowed the pills down and grunted as he got dressed, the pain and the migraine, it was all very real, very physical and DEFINITELY not a dream at all, he was tired and sick and he needed money and fast. 

Gustave rolled out of bed reluctantly and got ready by showering and scrubbing his face, he pushed his hair aside and noticed his stitches were slightly swollen and yet, it was not concerning...and yet the vision was so unnerving, Gustave could feel his vision tunnel as his breathing started getting shallower and the panic taking over him. Was this woman some sort of prophet that was sent to his delirious mind? He hoped it was certainly not the truth but...it felt like the visions were not far off from the truth. He went to work and began working at the docks and assisted with fishermen and it was a messy, smelly, bacteria and virus ridden area, it was no suprise that Gustave's fatigue began to progress and his body was shivering violently and was reddened at the face, clearly he was in no condition to do work and yet he was still doing work. Gustave began to pick up some French phrases and his accent was beginning to become more southern as he continued working the days at the docks, he was declining rapidly and he was being warned by the same vision as Carmen Diaz and Daniel LaRusso as well as the original Cobra Kai group began to join in the search for Johnny Lawrence.


	10. No light shall shine

Gustave rolled over in bed, his throat was sore and scratchy, like sandpaper had been stuffed down his throat. His vision was fuzzy around the edges, he blinked carefully as he coughed again and took some aspirin and showered and gazed at the scar. The scar was starting to turn purple and red and the skin around the scar was starting to show streaking. Gustave was worried about the scar since he had tried over the counter triple antibiotic cream.

He yawned and grabbed his things and walked to the docks where the salty tangy smell of the sea and dead fish greeted his nose and he cursed in French. He gutted fish and cleaned up traps and he was coughing heavily he saw droplets on his arm. He was groaning in pain, his neck and back were aching horribly and he went to the clinic. The doctors assumed he was not urgent so they let him wait for thirty minutes and then the African American nurse called out in a southern accent

"Gustave LeRoy?"

Gustave weakly stood up and pitched over as a elderly man looked up in concern and a little child whined to her mother 

"Mawww look! He might...fall down!"

LeRoy went into the room and lay on the bed and shivered as the plastic waxed sheet crinkled underneath LeRoy's weight. The nurse took the vitals of LeRoy and the care suddenly became urgent and the lumbar puncture was ordered as the man lay shivering in the bed. What they would find from the results was that LeRoy had meningitis and Legionnaires disease and the clinic needed to transfer the patient to the Emergency Room, the treatment was beyond their capabilities as a check up center.


	11. Emergency!

Gustave was put on a stretcher and hauled out to the ambulance, the paramedics quickly and easily strapped down the quiet and compliant man as he lay, lethargic and lifeless. The medics were concerned about his pulse ox numbers and they soon put an oxygen mask on him, it concealed his face, his breath fogging the plastic mask as the sirens wailed and whined and the red and white lights flashed above the vehicle as they zoomed to the hospital near the French Quarter. Passerby turned their heads as the ambulance passed by them and they murmured, concerned for whoever was inside the ambulance. Many murmured a prayer or two before going about their day, forgetting the scene before them. 

Gustave's coughing began to sound wet and his breathing was laborious, even though the mask was on 100% oxygen and his ox numbers were still not improving as the pulse ox machine beeped rapidly, alerting the paramedic to the situation before him as they strapped electrodes onto Gustave's fatigue ridden chest and they noticed that the scar was beginning to gush out pus and they began to extract the abscesses. Not even the pain was enough to cut through Gustave's lethargy and exhaustion as they docked at the entrance bay and they hauled out the stretcher and they quickly wheeled him into the first room that was open and the trauma doctor quickly ordered a scan and a biopsy of the lung and the bone marrow and the brain as well. 

Gustave was heavily sedated when he fell in a coma...he opened his eyes and he saw that he was at a beach this time and he saw the same red haired woman and her quizzical smile, her lips were red, her eyes were a beautiful baby blue and her tresses fell below her shoulders as she wore a black dress with a ruby necklace and a yellow belt. She walked over and began

"All right. Clearly you still struggle with your memory issues. You are sick and you are dying. You are not going to make it unless you admit something to yourself." 

"What is it?"

"You love someone...not just one person. You love them both. Your heart breaks for them. Your soul yearns for them." 

"What do you mean? What the fuck are you talking about? I can't even remember who I once was."

"Fair point. What color are my eyes. Answer this question?"

"They are blue...they are...oh...god."

Suddenly Gustave could see himself behind the wheel, driving furiously and angrily as he was chasing after something, to beat something, he wasn't even sure what he was going after as the rain kept pouring on and on, the roads were very slick and wet, the visibility was low and the roads wound around hills and mountains as he tried driving, but a another driver who made a left turn onto his lane, merged too fast and smashed into his car, sending him into a tailspin and his car smashed into a tree trunk, shattering the hood and the windshield and whipping his head everywhere as the car flipped over and fell down the hill and onto the road below.

Gustave gaped in horror as the scene was punctuated once more with ambulances and firefighters and then the woman snapped her fingers and grimly added

"Now you know what happened to you?"

"Yeah...I know now...it's crazy...really crazy."

"Crazy doesn't even begin to describe what you have been through."

Meanwhile the doctors argued over the usage of steroids and antibiotics for treating the legionnaires disease and also his meningitis disease. Dr. Kana contended

"Are you kidding me? The steroids will trash John Doe's immune system! His system is already badly compromised as it is by the legionnaires disease!"

Dr. Greta angrily argued

"Steroids will destroy the bacteria as soon as possible. We do not have time on our side as it is for this man's treatment!"

They finally agreed to use the steroids and went with Rifampin, Azithromycin, Levofloxacin and Ampicillin as well as several steroid injections were administered as the man dozed on, they could only hope that this man would survive the next twenty four hours ahead of them.


	12. Sleep and rest

Gustave sat at the throne, which was on a dais, he was trying and trying to remember...the enigmatic woman sadly gazed at him before she replied

"Your life...it hangs on a razor edge. Only the doctors can save you now."

"I hope that I will survive whatever is going on."

Gustave was intubated and a myriad of tubes and wires crossed all over him as the machines hummed and beeped. The former sensei, he is deep in his coma, he is tired and his mind is weary, even the doctors could see how young and relaxed Gustave is in his sleep. The blonde man is tired and weak and broken from how everyone has penetrated his soul and broke it, piece by piece until there was nothing left for him to recognize. 

Daniel LaRusso and the Diaz family were searching, with all they had, even the OG Cobra Kai including Dutch began to put out feelers to try and find Johnny Lawrence wherever they could. Dutch was talking to fellow prisoners across the country to see if he had been incarcerated, but nobody knew where he was. 

It was finally with Jimmy's fellow FBI agent that they finally got answered based off of surveillance footage of Johnny boarding a bus to Denver and the Denver bus station showed Johnny boarding the New Orleans bus and disappearing into the crowds once more and that narrowed down their search to New Orleans, Louisiana. For Carmen, she felt her heart flutter whenever she thought of Johnny and his cute smirk and his laughter and how pragmatic he was about life and she felt a sense of being tethered to safety, something she hadn't felt with any of her exes.

For Daniel, well he had felt romantic feelings towards Johnny since they were in high school even though they were also karate rivals and they had a long history, the way Johnny was soothing and protective and confident, it gave Daniel confidence to stand up for himself against Johnny. He also was in love with Johnny, little did he know that Carmen felt the same way about Johnny as well. 

Miguel sat between Daniel and Bobby Brown, while Jimmy sat next to Carmen in the plane and they all silently prayed they would find him alive in the shelter somewhere. As soon as the wheels touched the tarmac, they started making phone calls to all the homeless shelters and mourges in New Orleans, none reported a body by their description and then Miguel called Touro Infirmary Hospital and they reported that a man in his early fifties, weighed 169 pounds and was 6'2 was in the ICU and was in need of identification. He quickly thanked the receptionist and told his mom

"Mama! I think I found the hospital that has him, I'm not 100% sure since he had no ID card on him but at least it's worth a try, right mom?"

"Yes my mijo... we must do whatever it takes to find him...to reassure him that we are his family and that we all love him."

"I pray he will remember us."

"That will be highly unlikely Miggy...he has dissociative amnesia and retrograde amnesia. He will need long term care and help from a psychiatrist to help him recover his memories..."

"I miss sensei so much."

"I know you do...I know you do."

They all crowded in the bus and they rode the public transit to the hospital where they saw the comatose man and Daniel recognized Johnny under all those tubes and wires as he could see the dark circles under Johnny's eyes and how hollow his cheeks were and he could see Johnny's cheekbones and how thin he was. He was so fragile and pale looking, it was...so terrifying how a human being could fall to this state of near death so soon after being discharged. It was terrible and Jimmy wept openly as he whimpered   
"Don't die. Please. I need you. Bobby and Dutch and Daniel need you too. Come back. We are all sorry for hurting you. We all are."


	13. I'm trapped and alone

Gustave LeRoy looked around, the room was dark and a soft melody played as he walked down the hall, his footsteps echoed across the marble floor as he strained his eyes to see whatever was going on, he could see the woman standing before him, she sneered 

"You are convinced you are alone. You are a alcoholic who cares about no one but himself. You walked out on your son and your wife. Hell, you weren't even there for your son when he was born. What kind of human being do you call yourself honestly? Oh wait, you're not a good one at it for sure, you screw up at everything you do."

"That's not true lady!"

"How can you be lying to me? I am you and you cannot lie to yourself after all! You know this! I said this before and I will say this again, I am the projection of you, of your greater desires, of your subconscious. You love them both. You love them all with ever fiber of your entire being. It explains why you still pine for them both. It's not a thing to be ashamed of, to be bisexual and polyamorous, it's a normal thing in this society, its just you have refused to adapt...you are afraid of change. You are afraid of instability and the destruction of what you hold dear and familiar, of what is the reminder to you of the good days that you cherished so much and that meant so much to you deeply."

One of the doctors came over and started cutting into his chest and he could feel no pain as the doctor added 

"This is all a dream, a figment of your gulit ridden mind. Again. It's just a dream."

Gustave squinted as a doctor moved a light over his face and the doctor pressed the mask firmly onto Gustave and everything faded into the darkness as he fell through a hole. He could hear a soft beeping as someone said

"He...he's awake! He truly is awake! Oh thank god he is awake."

Gustave groaned

"Ugh...can someone turn on the lights and get off my legs and feet? I can't feel them..."

A Male voice that sounded like he was a person from New York said

"Johnny? The light is on...nobody is sitting on your legs."

"Johnny? What the hell kind of name is that? My name is Gustave LeRoy!"

"Your name is not Gustave...I'm really sorry, I really hate to break this to you but...your name is Johnny Avery Lawrence."

"Its dark in here...I can't see anything...I...I CAN'T SEEE! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS! HELP MEEEE!"

Doctors ran in with nurses as they ushered out the visitors and they did all sorts of tests all day long, including CT scans, PET scans, Cerebral angiography, X Rays, MRI, even a FMRI scans were used, neurologists and optometrists were brought in, but they all replied with

"Our best guess is that he has Conversion Disorder. He needs to speak to a psychiatrist. There is nothing wrong with his spine or eyes functionally. He is clearly suppressing something that is eating away at him so his body is projecting it as a psychosomatic disorder. His body parts are functional but his mind won't allow him to use them. He needs to talk, to get counseled. Clearly his problems are stemming from a sexual trauma."

Daniel was stunned...none of the words made sense to him at all, how was Johnny going through all this? Paralysis? Blindness? Amnesia? Was this all as a result of the accident? Even Carmen was shocked...she clearly didn't know Johnny as well as she thought she did. She wanted to help him remember, to recover his memories, so they could spend time together. But no matter, she would be there for him. She loved Johnny deeply.


	14. Fragile lies don't stand

Johnny's eyes were filled with tears, they were filled with a sort of childlike fright, and yet, there was no expression behind them. Johnny could only listen to the voices as they debated, debated above him about his long term care as if he was mentally handicapped and he yelled out 

"Fuck you all! Fuck you! May you all rot! You all pretend to care for me when you all just want to take advantage of me! I hate you all! Get lost! GET LOST! GET LOST! AGHHHH! WHY CAN'T I SEE? FUCK EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING!"

Johnny's heartbreaking sobs echoed across the hall as he groped left and righ, trying to get out of bed, as he tried to stand with the help of the IV pole and drip that was attached to his wrist and the movable table, but his knees gave out and he crumpled to the floor, weeping and cursing 

"FUCK! FUCK! WHY? Why do I deserve this of all things? What have I done so wrong that warranted this punishment? What must I do to rectify what I did in the past? I'm sorry LaRusso! I'm sorry Ali! I'm sorry mom! I'm sorry John Kreese! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so pathetic! I'm so fucking pathetic! I should've never been born! You are right Sid! I am a waste of resources and energy! I am a waste of everything that is invested in me!" 

Daniel and Carmen stood by the door way, as they watched Johnny, in his gown, barely covered, with no dignity left, no sight, no mobility, it broke their hearts as they witnessed a spectacular breakdown. All the walls, masks and covers, lies, all the primal Donna attitude, the Alpha Dog personality, the bravado, it was all stripped to this Johnny that was naked, vulnerable and broken as a glass vase, all the sobbing as the nurses ran through Daniel and Carmen to get Johnny back into bed, it was unwatchable, in that moment, they both could see a light in Johnny's light blue eyes sputter out and die. 

Johnny kept weeping loudly

"My God! I...I hate this! I can't belive this is happening to me! Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Of all things? Conversion Disorder? Seriously? Argh! Why? What the hell? There is nothing in this world that I can be useful for anymore! I am useless! Completely useless! Sid would have a fucking field day with seeing me like this in my condition! He would enjoy my pain and suffering! I...I know he would love to see me fail! He has always wanted to see me fail! I know so!"

Johnny lay on the bed, the fluids dripping into his vein as he blindly wiped his tears away and he called out "Robby? Where are you? I need you Robby. Robby...I'm sorry, I'm such a horrible father. Maybe I deserve this becuase of what I did to you. I deserve to be blind and paralyzed. I am all alone in this pain. I deserve to be in this condition for what I did to Ali...to Daniel...to Shannon...to my mom...to you...all I ever did was fight blindly for ideals and principles that were not my own and I ended up fighting the consequences that were not supposed to be my own. There is no worse coward than one who abandons his flesh and blood and I am a coward...and I sincerely apologize for my cowardice. I really truly am sorry." 

Johnny began to fall ill and soon was diagnosed with liver cancer and soon his chemotherapy sessions began, he vomited copiously as a nurse by the name of Mike Barnes cleaned him up, he didn't acknowledge LaRusso or the Diaz family...he was only there for the patients and he didn't have time for sentimental feelings.


	15. The Long and Broken road

Johnny was in physical therapy, the therapist was trying to wake up his sleeping legs, which refused to move and the doctors and the neurologists were concerned about muscular death since he had been bedridden and now he was forced to fight cancer and do a grueling physical therapy session and yet, no progress was being made. The conversion disorder was destroying Johnny's muscles that once had been fit and supple which had been conditioned to be so after years and years of training, physical and mental exertion. 

Daniel could notice that Johnny had withdrawn into his own mind and it broke his heart to see that man suffer this way, trapped in a body that was unable to move and a mind that was barely able to remember all of the destructive things he did. Johnny was devastated when he remembered that his mom was dead, that day, Johnny had a severe set back and screamed at all the nurses and doctors and counselors to get lost and to not show their faces at him. Daniel and Carmen both refused to leave his side as he wept loudly and screamed and cursed to the heavens above as tears streamed down his cheeks and his chest heaved with heartbreaking sobs.

Johnny blindly groped at everything, he tried to stay strong and refused help from everyone, his pride was stout and strong. Johnny had been offered to be transferred back to Reseda, absolutely free of charge, but Daniel received a firm and unmistakable "No! Never!" from Johnny when he tried to propose the idea and Daniel understood that Johnny wanted a fresh start, free from the demons that were beginning to crawl back into the spaces that they had vacated during his time when he was wandering like a ghost across the country. Clearly Johnny was still not ready to face his other demons that still lurked in Encino Hills and Reseda and it would bite him in the ass and hard. 


	16. Cone Undone All Darkness

Johnny could feel his hair fall off, he was stressed out all the way, he couldn't see and the only senses he had were his ears and fingers to tell him who was handling him. Physical Therapy was of no use and Johnny was still too sick to be discharged from the hospital because the chemo was busy wrecking his immune system and the tumor in his liver. Guess all the drinking had finally caught up to him after all the decades of depression and self harm.

Robby had finally flown in to New Orleans after the school year had ended and he was nervous, he saw the beauty and the magic of the city, it was no wonder his father had sought to leave Reseda, which was an eternal shithole in comparison to this beautiful and musical city. He could hear jazzy music floating around every corner and he could see flowers and lilies and roses and lilacs blooming and hanging over balconies and he asked a elderly African American man 

"Hello? Can you tell me where the hospital is?"

"Which hospital is it son?"

"Uh, I think its...Tulane?"

"Sure thing son, you want a ride?"

"Uh...no, no! It would be too much for you."

"It would be my pleasure son."

Robby was confused at the generosity of the older man and how he was willing to offer him a ride despite not knowing him. So he clambered into the car and soon the man drove him and then started talking about his kids, grandkids and family and how he had seen the country change and how the youth were just like him when he was a teenager. 

Johnny was busy using his fingers to read braille, he was learning the alphabet all over again as he read the words that he was touching aloud, his occupational therapist was trying to help him live a normal life, he was being taught how to care for himself and he was beginning to recover, slowly and surely, he did his tasks with a fervor, but now...Johnny was beginning to shut people out and sink into a depression and Carmen could notice that as Johnny was becoming quieter and quieter. Robby and Bobby followed the nurse through the pale yellow walls and the man slid the glass door open and knocked on the wall and Johnny called out in the eternal darkness "Come in." And the two men entered the hospital room where there were colorful flowers and balloons hanging and yet Johnny couldn't see any of it. Robby stepped forward, in tears as he gazed upon his pale, frail, and thin and balding father. All the anger, resentment and hate that Robby held towards his father melted away at that moment, all the tears began to fall out as he embraced his blind paralyzed father. Johnny broke down and whispered

"It's ok. It's ok. All I need is you now. All that matters is that you are with me right now."


	17. Why Do You Feel Dead Inside?

Johnny was groping around blindly, feeling the pills and then swallowing them. Many of the pills were large sized and were difficult to swallow, he often could feel that his throat was closing up when he took the pills. Carmen cuddled Johnny and kissed him deeply and moaned loudly, she cradled his bald head, his tears rolled down his cheeks as he tried to remember what he had forgotten. Johnny one day whimpered

"I want to be able to walk! I want to be able to see again! I want to do karate! I miss it all...I miss my old life that I lost. I want to beat this cancer so badly."

Nurse Barnes came over to inject some pain medication into the vein of Johnny and walked back to his station. Johnny lay in the bed, vomiting in the bucket and groaning in pain. Carmen was massaging his legs cause the muscles still needed blood to circulate through the arteries. Miguel Diaz also flew to New Orleans and he was amazed by the culture and the music and the art and the people and how friendly and hospitable they were to him. The air of the deep south was very humid and his caramel skin was reddening slightly under the blazing sun and the and he was starting to sweat bullets and he grabbed the transit and headed towards the hospital where he saw Johnny sitting in a recliner chair and blankly staring out of the window, though his eyes were sightless.


	18. Never underestimate the power of a humiliated man

Johnny by now was discharged to his apartment near the bayou where one could hear jazz music float through the windows and the walls as the days went by, Johnny was also beginning to remember some parts of his past where he hadn't been there for Shannon Keene during the birth of Robby Keene and it ate away at his soul as he tried to remember what else had he done that was as awful as he could remember. Johnny opened up to Carmen saying  
"What have I done? All I have done is destroy people's lives, refuse to be there for the people that are supposed to matter the most to me. I have done nothing throughout my entire life but abandon the people that cared about me, I treated them like garbage, I don't deserve happiness for all that I have done to them, I hate myself for what I have done, I don't deserve the kindness that you and Daniel have given me. Especially after how I treated him in high school? No. I do not deserve his forgiveness nor do I deserve his kindness. I deserve to be punished for all that I have done to so many people. But I will never ever seek the forgiveness of Ali Mills, she is a slut and a whore, I would rather die a thousand times over than to ever look at her. I would rather stay blind and paralyzed for life than to ever seek her forgiveness ever. I hate her a thousand times over for what she did to me and to Daniel LaRusso. I will suffer the agonizing pain I underwent, being lost and alone in a different city before I ever speak with her again, that is all I have to say about her and that is all I ever will have to say about her."  
Johnny sighed deeply and blindly reached for his face and wiped away his tears as he sobbed quietly as he could and he opened a book and began reading the sentences with his fingers.


	19. What didn't I do? What did I do?

Johnny was still angry at himself and blaming himself for the accident and for the tournament incident and the self hatred that he was carrying was blocking him from his ability to see and that was something that psychiatrists were struggling to help Johnny overcome in order for his vision to come back so he could see again. Johnny still couldn't walk and refused to see Sid multiple times and he refused to see Kreese. Both men in their own ways, they destroyed him forever, they shattered his soul and poured its remains into the atmosphere, there was no way that Daniel and Carmen would ever be able to help Johnny pick up the pieces and put them back together again, the damage was done and it could not be undone once done.   
A psychiatrist and a neurologist told Daniel   
"You have a misconception that we can fix broken people. That is a deadly assessment of what we do. Johnny Lawrence is not making progress because the environment that you are bringing with you is toxic. You, Carmen, Kreese, Sid, all of you are toxic to him. I have seen him shut himself off because you keep blaming him for everything that has happened to you. Clearly you hold a grudge against him, you are blinded by a prior history and previous grievances and that is hindering Johnny. Right now, I am Johnny Lawrence's psychiatrist and I am here for his best interests, not for you, not for Carmen, or for any of his desperate friends and family that seek to sabotage his recovery."  
The psycatrist coldly brushed by LaRusso and entered the room and Nurse Barnes wheeled Johnny into the therapy room where Johnny would speak to the counselor and try to make some progress today. Daniel realized that by coming to New Orleans, he unintentionally brought over his biases and baggage and personal affronts that he had against Johnny and it was not helping the blonde man recover from his illness and accident from back in Reseda, California and that was destroying Johnny on the inside, he went to the hotel and packed his bags and left New Orleans on St Patrick's Day and Carmen sighed as she, too left Johnny to try and gather his thoughts and strength for the long and arduous trek on the road to recovery and healing from the destructive past that was haunting him and destroying whatever was left of him.   
Miguel Diaz spoke to Johnny   
"My mom and I are going back to Reseda, the doctor says you aren't making progress because of us. Is what he said...true?"  
Johnny was furious that the man said that and how dare he? That was the last thing he needed, for the people that he cared for deeply, to leave him here in the darkness forever. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for the negative reaction as he replied:  
"No, you are your mom are not hindering my recovery at all. However, Daniel LaRusso can go to hell for all I can give a rat's ass for. He mentally destroyed me, that abusive son of a bitch destroyed me! HE FUCKING WRECKED MY CAR! HE WON'T FUCKING CONFESS!! HE WAS THE ONE WHO TRIED TO KILL ME!! DANIEL LARUSSO INTENTIONALLY SMASHED HIS CAR INTO MY CAR! HE KNEW THAT I TAKE THAT HIGHWAY HOME! AGGGHHHH!"  
Miguel held onto Johnny as the older man broke down weeping and screaming and yelling and cursing and sobbing. Meanwhile, the FBI had arrested Daniel LaRusso at the New Orleans international airport for attempted vehicular homicide and extortion and attempted kidnapping of Johnny Lawrence and the prosecutor was seeking the death penalty in his case because this was a federal statute and the jury was unsympathetic to his case. Louisiana was clearly not California and for a good reason.


End file.
